My unhappy marriage may be left after I reconnect with an old friend, Dear Abby.:-RESPECT, ABBY: There have been twelve years since my spouse and I tied the knot. At first, everything was going according to plan.
But he has let me down on numerous occasions by not assisting me with things like stress, expenses, and other things. Because we now have a child, the fact that he recently lost his job has contributed to the stress that I am experiencing.
During the course of our conversation, I have been in touch with an old colleague who gives me the impression that we would be a wonderful team.
In spite of the fact that we are both miserable in our marriages, he is also married. Although I can envision us together, I’m not sure whether I want to go to where he lives. He wants me to relocate and be with him, but I cannot say for certain that I want to do so.
He has never mentioned that he wants a divorce, despite the fact that he has stated that he is unhappy. Only that he wants us to be together is what he has communicated to us.
Dear Abby, I am torn. Should I continue to be in a marriage that is not fulfilling for the sake of my child, or should I split and move away in the hope that all will turn out okay?
I beg you to assist me in calming my thoughts, as well as my heart and mind. IN TEXAS, THERE IS TROUBLE
BEHIND THE CURRENT: It would appear from what you have stated that even though your “old work friend” may be dissatisfied with his marriage, he does not intend to divorce his wife.
However, he would like you to leave your spouse, uproot your lives and the life of your child, and move to a location that is more geographically convenient for him.
If you want to follow this road map and hope that everything will work out, but there is no assurance that you and your child will be stable, then you could wind up in a disastrous situation.
It would be helpful if you could pull your head out of the clouds and begin thinking in a more sensible and strategic manner. Neither of these things is happening right now.
RESPECT, ABBY: I have a career that I enjoy doing, and it offers me a good salary and benefits. It is a blessing that I am employed by a forward-thinking and adaptable agency. Nevertheless, the environment in our workplace is very alone and secluded.
Although my supervisor is friendly and supportive, I don’t get the same level of support or friendliness from my coworkers as I do from my boss.
Most of them are in their 30s and come from families that are considered to be upper-middle class. As someone who is in their early 60s, I am not.
My job is filled with people that are incredibly close-knit. It is not possible for me to participate in any of their activities or interactions. Whenever I make a comment, I am frequently disregarded.
I have made a concerted effort to be friendly, but am not receiving much of a reaction. Although I am able to smile and look people in the eye, the majority of individuals will not say hello unless I first say it.
This is a pretty disheartening situation. I am in need of guidance. OREGON: OVERLOOKED IN THE WORLD
Because the greeting you receive from your coworkers is, to put it mildly, unwelcoming, my first recommendation would be that you focus more on the good parts of your employment, including the money and perks, and less on making friends.
This is because the reception you receive could be described as unwelcoming. Determine the number of additional years you wish to continue working and see it through until you have a plan to retire.
The second piece of advice I have for you is to look for work elsewhere if you find that the solitude is becoming too much for you to bear, and discuss the reason for your leave with your manager during the exit interview.
Pauline Phillips, the author’s mother, is the founder of the Dear Abby website, which is written by Abigail Van Buren, who is also known by the name Jeanne Phillips.
Dear Abby can be reached via DearAbby.com or at the following address: P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, California 90069.